I am SO glad Oldster is not doing classic service journalism! There is enough, and maybe even too much, of that. The biggest compliment anyone has ever paid to me was to describe me as authentic. I don't know how I got there, exactly, but here I am and making the most of it. A few weeks ago I attended a huge party my brother and his wife had, 400 people, sporting all sorts of sartorial finery, and I wore a pair of lavender overalls and a teal turtleneck and I was utterly at ease and comfortable because I was entirely myself. I looked as if I had just fallen off the apple truck. Who cares? Not me! And if anyone did, that's their concern and not mine.
I can relate. I’m 76 and a recent widow. I feel like I’m just now becoming myself. I live alone, don’t have to provide for anyone nor take care of anyone except myself. I’ve finally given myselfpermission to relax and only do what I feel like. I like this new me!
I love Sari and Oldster--I've learned so much from the various interviews featured. I'll be turning 60 next October and am happy to learn Sari and I share some of the same thoughts on aging. It makes me feel better about the future. Thank you Sari--and I'm loving your book. Weirdos rule.
Love Oldster and all of Sari’s work! This was an excellent interview. Loved, “I really thought that I was going to get to do whatever the hell I wanted, even though I didn't have family money. Free to Be You and Me doesn't let you know about that there's really no meritocracy, and that the people who come from money get the opportunities before you do. I didn't know that. I got a bone to pick with Marlo Thomas!”
So much to think about here. I particularly like SARK’s question: What does your anger look like, so I cn be prepared for it?” I don’t have an answer. That’s why it’s such a good question.
Great interview! I really enjoyed it, as it home in many, many ways for this 68-year-old. I particularly related to the idea of getting back to your younger self. For the last 8 years or so, I have often referred to a picture I keep on my phone, of a 5year old me, looking assertive and confident. My quest has been to get back to that girl, with that look in her eyes. Slowly, but surely, she and I are becoming one. Thank you ❤️
Absolutely wonderful discussion, filled with so much truth and wisdom, all of which I'm just wrapping my brain around, too, at 71. The whole thing about no time to waste, I gotta be me? Yes. But if we really woke up, we'd be living like that ALL of our lives. Can you imagine? Thanks for putting it out here. Will share!
Enjoyed this interview. It resonated with so many messages I try to convey, age 83. I wrote a book about why I like being old (and I DO use the word old) four years ago (Called The Granny Who Stands on her Head: reflections on growing older) and it was only in the course of putting the book together that I realised firmly that that was how I felt. Now, I say so often, loud and clear – both on my own Substack and in a recent post for Advantages of Age. Yes, there are some difficulties, but they are very far outweighed by the benefits
People have a surprisingly set view of what is old. I am older than Biden but still stand on my head, have a sense of humour and, I think, my critical faculties!! We aren’t all the same!
Not so easy at 75 when your narcissistic mother is almost 98 and expects you to be there. I’ve reached that authentic point and it feels so toxic to me to have to show up. I feel some kind of physical and psychic pain that tells me I can’t take care of myself and be there for her. Its a bind and I don’t feel strong enough anymore to push it down.
Sari is a gift to all of us. Thank you, Polly, for honoring her and the hard, honest, tender and relatable work she is doing on aging and fighting ageism!! We love you, Sari!! And I just bought your memoir. THANK YOU 💜
Sari, you rock so hard!!! I really enjoy how you express yourself and what you’re understanding/ have understood. Plus, every single thing you say in this interview resonated for me, so that’s fun. 😊👍🏼🥰
Loved this. I feel waaay more energetic and more myself creatively at 70 than ever before. And I'm happier, too. I get cranky with friends who complain about aging, but then I just let it go.
This is so beautiful and wise! Yesterday, I read an article about parentified daughters (https://www.glamour.com/story/what-is-a-parentified-daughter-and-how-can-you-tell-if-you-are-one), and I was startled but proud that what I've been working on for years in therapy -- and what is beginning to really pay dividends -- is the steps toward breaking free from that. OK, I'm in my 50s, but better now than never, and in the meantime I've done a lot under a lot of pressure that I'm trying to let go.
This is a beautiful interview. There is so much freedom in aging. At the age of 54, I care more about the things that enrich my physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. I make time for things that I truly enjoy and don't feel obligated to participate in activities to please others. It's truly "all about me."
I am SO glad Oldster is not doing classic service journalism! There is enough, and maybe even too much, of that. The biggest compliment anyone has ever paid to me was to describe me as authentic. I don't know how I got there, exactly, but here I am and making the most of it. A few weeks ago I attended a huge party my brother and his wife had, 400 people, sporting all sorts of sartorial finery, and I wore a pair of lavender overalls and a teal turtleneck and I was utterly at ease and comfortable because I was entirely myself. I looked as if I had just fallen off the apple truck. Who cares? Not me! And if anyone did, that's their concern and not mine.
Ha, I love this Polly!! I'm inspired to go find some lavender overalls. I already have a teal turtleneck. :)
Thank you! And authentic is where it's at...
I love this. Being 80 has freed me at last. Doesn't matter how long it lasts. I'm doing what I want.
Love this, Sallie.
I can relate. I’m 76 and a recent widow. I feel like I’m just now becoming myself. I live alone, don’t have to provide for anyone nor take care of anyone except myself. I’ve finally given myselfpermission to relax and only do what I feel like. I like this new me!
Yes!!!
I love Sari and Oldster--I've learned so much from the various interviews featured. I'll be turning 60 next October and am happy to learn Sari and I share some of the same thoughts on aging. It makes me feel better about the future. Thank you Sari--and I'm loving your book. Weirdos rule.
Thank you, Erin! And nice to meet another October, 1965 baby!
So glad!!
Love Oldster and all of Sari’s work! This was an excellent interview. Loved, “I really thought that I was going to get to do whatever the hell I wanted, even though I didn't have family money. Free to Be You and Me doesn't let you know about that there's really no meritocracy, and that the people who come from money get the opportunities before you do. I didn't know that. I got a bone to pick with Marlo Thomas!”
Word, Sister, Word! 🙌😂
Word, indeed!! And thank you, so glad you enjoyed it!
<3 <3 <3
So much to think about here. I particularly like SARK’s question: What does your anger look like, so I cn be prepared for it?” I don’t have an answer. That’s why it’s such a good question.
Agree- now I'm imagining actually asking this of a new friend, gulp!
It's a good question, Rona, and a really hard one! Especially for women.
Great interview! I really enjoyed it, as it home in many, many ways for this 68-year-old. I particularly related to the idea of getting back to your younger self. For the last 8 years or so, I have often referred to a picture I keep on my phone, of a 5year old me, looking assertive and confident. My quest has been to get back to that girl, with that look in her eyes. Slowly, but surely, she and I are becoming one. Thank you ❤️
Oh my gosh, I love that you have that photo. I have one of 5-year-old me covered in face paint. It's my favorite.
I love this and I’m going to do that, too. I have a pic of myself crabbing at age 8, looking calm and confident. Will look for more.
Absolutely wonderful discussion, filled with so much truth and wisdom, all of which I'm just wrapping my brain around, too, at 71. The whole thing about no time to waste, I gotta be me? Yes. But if we really woke up, we'd be living like that ALL of our lives. Can you imagine? Thanks for putting it out here. Will share!
Oh my goodness, your mouth to God's ears. What if we could do this earlier??
Thank you so much!! I feel this conversation like seeds sown in my body...
Yay!
Enjoyed this interview. It resonated with so many messages I try to convey, age 83. I wrote a book about why I like being old (and I DO use the word old) four years ago (Called The Granny Who Stands on her Head: reflections on growing older) and it was only in the course of putting the book together that I realised firmly that that was how I felt. Now, I say so often, loud and clear – both on my own Substack and in a recent post for Advantages of Age. Yes, there are some difficulties, but they are very far outweighed by the benefits
I love this, Ann. And yes, I like using the word "old" too. Why not say it loud and proud?
People have a surprisingly set view of what is old. I am older than Biden but still stand on my head, have a sense of humour and, I think, my critical faculties!! We aren’t all the same!
Great perspective, Ann!
Not so easy at 75 when your narcissistic mother is almost 98 and expects you to be there. I’ve reached that authentic point and it feels so toxic to me to have to show up. I feel some kind of physical and psychic pain that tells me I can’t take care of myself and be there for her. Its a bind and I don’t feel strong enough anymore to push it down.
Sending strength, Sandra!! Sounds like you are listening to the still small voice within...
thanks for commenting!
Love Oldster, and this dialog reminded me why. Thank you!
Sari is a gift to all of us. Thank you, Polly, for honoring her and the hard, honest, tender and relatable work she is doing on aging and fighting ageism!! We love you, Sari!! And I just bought your memoir. THANK YOU 💜
Thank you, Adrienne, and for getting my memoir! <3
Sari, you rock so hard!!! I really enjoy how you express yourself and what you’re understanding/ have understood. Plus, every single thing you say in this interview resonated for me, so that’s fun. 😊👍🏼🥰
yes!!
Thank you so much, Erika!! <3
You’re so welcome - what you’re doing is purely marvelous.
Agree!
Loved this. I feel waaay more energetic and more myself creatively at 70 than ever before. And I'm happier, too. I get cranky with friends who complain about aging, but then I just let it go.
I love this, Charlotte! Here's to many more creative energetic years!
This is so beautiful and wise! Yesterday, I read an article about parentified daughters (https://www.glamour.com/story/what-is-a-parentified-daughter-and-how-can-you-tell-if-you-are-one), and I was startled but proud that what I've been working on for years in therapy -- and what is beginning to really pay dividends -- is the steps toward breaking free from that. OK, I'm in my 50s, but better now than never, and in the meantime I've done a lot under a lot of pressure that I'm trying to let go.
This is a beautiful interview. There is so much freedom in aging. At the age of 54, I care more about the things that enrich my physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. I make time for things that I truly enjoy and don't feel obligated to participate in activities to please others. It's truly "all about me."
So glad. And hear, hear!